I have written you the crackfic and posted it on my journal because it is a tetch long to post here, but folks can get they-ah from he-ah (as we say in Vermont, although more for the benefit of the tourists than because our accents are that thick in real life).
Fic At Last, Fic At Last, Thank Gods Almighty, Fic At Last!
here on LJ
or
here on DW