lolmac | LOLRules

OMG, lol!! RIGHT?!

Thothmes wrote commentfic for this one!

I see this!!

*Dives in*

The Gate of the Gods grumbled and spun, and the ground shook. The Elders of the Village, grim, humorless, and dressed in their finest bark loincloths assembled, ready for whatever the Gods would send. The blue waters-that-do-not-flow of the Gate formed, and there was a tense moment before a white object soared through. It was an odd shape, generally triangular, with a pointed tip at the front, gradually flaring into a keel and two wings at the back. It flew over the heads of the astonished elders, and fluttered gently to the ground under one of the trees ringing the Gate.

It was beneath the dignity of the Elders to chase such a thing, even if it was from the Gods. One of the horde of little boys standing by was dispatched to fetch it. This was almost a disaster, as another boy had already shown initiative, and had it in his hands. In the ensuing power struggle, the object, made of a thin white substance, more fragile than bark, and thinner, was almost ripped in twain. Just in time, the father of the first boy to reach the object cuffed him in the ear and told him to let go, and the Elders' choice brought the item back.

It proved to be folded, and when unfolded, had writing. This led to another delay while the Reader of the God's Messages was fetched from the Temple. He looked it over, turned it to look at the obverse, and then looked at the first side, frowning.

The Elders were growing impatient.

"Well?" demanded the Eldest.

"I am not sure what to make of it, Ancient One," the Reader said. "It seems to be a collection of rules, but I do not understand their application or the reason behind them..."

"It is not for us to questions the decrees of our God, only to follow them to the letter," the Ancient One said sternly. "Tell us the God's will!"

"I. All reports must be filed within 48 hours of return from a mission, in triplicate (x3), with one (1) copy remaining in the files of the Mission Commander, one (1) copy to go into the Base Commander's files, and one (1) copy to be faxed immediately to the office designated at the Pentagon for that command, this aforementioned copy to be added in paper format to the packet assembled for weekly dispatch to the Pentagon by the Base Commander. Individual team members are encouraged to keep a further copy for their personal records.

I.b. Bullet point summaries are required.

I.c. --"

"You are the Reader of the God's Messages. You will read this over, and when you have determined what it is that we need to know, you will report to us and enlighten us," Said the Ancient One.

The other Elders nodded - sagely they hoped - in approval of the Ancient One's words. Clearly his years had imbued him with great wisdom.

The crowd broke up, both disappointed at the lack of great novelty, and relieved at the lack of in-person attention of their God.

*****

Jack and Daniel watched the paper airplane drift with a gentle "shoop!" through the wormhole. The gate shut down, and the horizon vanished.

"So you got it all down in Goa'uld so their priest-guy can read it?" Jack asked.

"With Teal's help," Daniel answered. "Why P6X-428?"

"Those old guys" (here he frowned at Daniel's pointed stare towards the top of his commander's head) "Had no sense of humor," said Jack. "They'll probably follow every single last rule to the letter."

"Jaaack!"

"I'm hoping if we ever go back, they'll have a Pentagon," said Jack. "And dress blues."

At the door to the corridor, Sam fell into step with them, failing to hide a smile with a dip of her head.

"It would be interesting to see what the Morrigan will make of the changes that will ensue," said Teal'c.

"Indeed!" said Jack happily.

BWAHAHA

Clearly, they sent the first half?

Moral: never trust anyone who has more than one bark loincloth.

I suspect that Jack had Daniel translate all the ones he found to be the most annoying.

He may be saving the other pages to drop on other planets they visit. After all, Jack can only monopolize so much of Daniel and Teal'c's time on this, and nuanced translation is important here...

Probably best not to trust anyone who owns more than one tuxedo either.

This was marvelous!! All I could think was 'Jack would...'

LOL!!

Thank you for this! Needed that smile today!

We all have days when an extra chuckle comes in handy. I'm glad to have been the one to provide it.

The only rule is Jack Rules!

The First Rule!!

LOLRules

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