lolmac | LOLBunnies

He's been watching Night of the Lepus again, hasn't he?

Or else the Wallace and Gromit movie.

Eeep! I forgot to add mouseover text!

Look at the bones! The fangs!

That rabbit's a killer!

Consult the Book of Armaments!

Oh noes! Not... the bunnehs!

Run away!

Too late!

Carter: Oh wow, sir! Do you realize that you actually used the most rarely used military hand signal in the whole manual?

O'Neill: [smugly] Oh yeah! I've waited my whole career for the opportunity to do that.

Teal'c: [left eyebrow of Tau'ri Are Odd]

Daniel: [lighting up with eagerness] There's a manual? Can I get ahold of one?

Hammond: Colonel O'Neill, would you care to explain yourself? I did not authorize the deployment of the vorpal bunnies on this mission!

Major Davis: One hundred vorpal bunnies, sir? Do you have any idea what that costs? Do you have any idea what the Appropriations Committee is going to have to say about this?

Hammond: I know, Major, I know! We have SG-22 on the planet with nets, but so far they've only managed to capture a few of those that got so over-full that they are moving rather slowly. The biology staff say it may be a bit of an ecological nightmare for the planet too. We may need to release a breeding pair of the vorpal foxes as well.

Davis: If you don't mind my asking, sir, who was it that got the bright idea to use the bunnies in the first place?

Hammond: I'd rather not say Major, other than to make clear that he will be doing a very long, very dull inventorying project in the store rooms here for a while.

Davis: So I'm guessing this individual is a Colonel, 48 going on 8.

Hammond: If that.

Davis: Still, he got to give the sign. Please say he gave the sign, sir!

Hammond: [enviously] Yeah. He gave the sign. Lucky bastard!

Davis: We'll find some way to get it past Appropriations, sir. Do you think one of your scientists could write up a proposal for a Case Study of the Ecological Effects of the Uncontrolled Release of Vorpal Bunnies, With Further Investigation of the Remediative Effect of the Release of Vorpal Foxes? We can push it as a prophylactic study on another planet to be ready in case the bunnies break containment on Earth.

Hammond: Good thinking, Major. I'll call Dr. Grimalkin in Bio immediately.

Davis: That Colonel of yours, General, gives me headaches, but I must say, he's certainly got style!

Hammond: Well for Godssakes keep that sentiment to yourself when you are here next week for the annual review! He doesn't need any encouragement.

Davis: No, sir. I should say not!

Senator Kinsey: Well, George.

Hammond: Senator.

Kinsey: I hear that your cowboys have gone from kissing up to alien governments to playing the Easter Bunny off-world.

Hammond: Bob, that's a particularly awful mixed metaphor, even for you.

Kinsey: And I hear that Colonel O'Neill got to use that sign.

Hammond: He did. (Hammond gets reeally close to Kinsey.) Bob, I think you're just jealous.

Kinsey: Me? You're implying that I have any reason to be jealous of . . . an Air Force Colonel? (Unconvincing forced laugh.) Now, listen closely, George. If you and your cowboy Colonel want this piece if idiocy to be overlooked, well, I expect him to be at my next press conference. In full uniform. And when I give him the sign, I expect him to say "Yes, sir!"

Hammond: Do you.

General Hammond glances past Kinsey, to where Jack is peek-a-booing from the next room. Hammond nods decisively.

Jack gives the sign.

Cut away as we hear Kinsey screaming in horror.

Edited 2011-05-10 20:09 (UTC)

THE SCENE: The Capitol steps, where the head of the Senate Appropriations Committee is engaged in giving a press conference. The Senator, flanked by two other Senators from his party, looking bored, and a tall, lean U.S.A.F Colonel in full dress blues and dark aviators with an expression that would hint that the Colonel had just eaten a particularly sour lemon, sports a number of healing cuts on his face, as well as bandages on either hand, and a further bandage is visible rising out of his shirt collar on his neck.

Senator Kinsey: Clearly our vision of the spending priorities for our patriotic Armed Forces is the more far thinking one. We wish to place limited budget dollars into important bases, and important weapons systems that will bring dollars in to local districts and lift the economy as a whole. It is vital that we stop pouring money into the bottomless pit of clandestine top secret programs that lurk in the darkness out of the cleansing light of public scrutiny. Unlike what the other party would like you to think, the men and women of our valiant Armed Services wholeheartedly agree, isn't that right, Colonel? [makes the sign below the podium for the microphones, and with some difficulty due to heavy bandaging on the fingers needed]

Colonel O'Neill: Yes, sir! Hopping like a bunny as ordered sir!

Press Core (delighted and astounded by the sight of a highly decorated 6'2" Colonel in dress blues hopping up and down the steps like a bunny - or a five year old): [Laughs]

Senator Kinsey (outraged): Colonel O'Neill!!!

O'Neill: [stops hopping when he is right in front of the bank of microphones, Senator Kinsey having retreated rapidly as he approached, nearly knocking over the other two Senators in his haste] (scathingly) Senator, you of all people know that the U.C.M.J. prevents me from expressing an opinion on a matter of politics while in uniform and serving on active duty in the Armed Forces of the United States of America. You'd be the first person in line to prosecute me if I did. [strides down the steps stepping quickly and nimbly from step to step to join a tall willowy blonde, a young man in glasses, and an enormous black man with a ball cap that reads Star Wars on the front and National Air and Space Museum Special Exhibits on the back] So, kids, ready for that bistro Carter mentioned?

The Press Corps: Senator Kinsey! Senator Kinsey! Can you explain for the public what was behind what just happened? Were you attempting to coerce the endorsement of an Air Force Colonel? Can you tell us what happened to you? Why all the bandages?

Senator Kinsey: [makes a sour-lemon-eating face, straightens his tie, and moves down to the microphones, assuming an air of guileless bonhomie] Indeed not! I would never dream of co-opting one of our valiant fighting men for mere partisan gain! I was merely trying to demonstrate the widespread support for our policies in...

[FADE]

LOL! You two should have your own sitcom!

Actually, I've always marvelled at the people who can turn out sitcoms or comic strips to a deadline. I can imagine nothing more likely to dry up the wells of inspiration than a deadline to be funny on schedule and with a quantified amount! *shudder*

That said, I recognize the kind and admiring nature of your comment, and send a sincere "Thank you so much!"

a deadline to be funny on schedule Yeah, kind of like posting something comic to LJ every weekday . . . ;-)

Yeah. Kind of like. Which is why you have my utmost admiration. I don't think I could keep it up. With me, when lighting strikes, it strikes. Sometimes it just... doesn't.

When I started doing these -- actually, when I started posting them and decided to do one every day, I declared that I would continue to do so "for as long as it's fun". It's still fun, obviously -- but the best part by far has been interacting with the people who comment, and knowing that the fun is shared. That's what really makes it something I can keep doing.

Admittedly, as a source of inspiration, caps of RDA make a nicely generous fount.

What did I just read?

~~A transcript of a press conference by Senate Appropriations Committee members that CNN intends to use in its upcoming documentary on the tawdry nature of modern American politics~~ Crack fic. Why do you ask?

All clear, Sir, "Da killer Bunnies" Yes, Sir, understood

LOLBunnies

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